This young lady. I look up to her b/c she's just fantastic. She has the personality of Oprah, Tyra, and a little bit of Wendy Williams in her. She has more than that though, but overall, she's a phenomenal woman. I really couldn't ask for a better friend.
I like her a lot b/c she keeps it very real with me all the time. She does not hesitate to speak her mind about things, especially when it comes to me and/or my actions, whether it will hurt my feelings or not. Now I don't mean she's barberic or anything, lol, but she gets the point out there. She's one of the very few people (well its mainly just her anyway) that can really get through to me when my judgment is clouded. Its weird. She doesn't have to say much, just by her sighs or comments I can tell what she's thinking and then I have a moment of clarity. A realization that what I'm doing is either right/wrong, considerate/inconsiderate, silly/serious.
So I was just taking to her about Mike and explained to her the situation. I guess after reading my previous blogs, one would assume that its a one sided story and I'm the one that's totally into him, while he isn't at all. Correction, for anyone that thinks so. Briefly I'll say this, and its true... yes, he does love me too. He does care about me a lot and he does not want me to be hurt, which is what happens when we have our mini-dramas. Also, he does not want to lose me, but at the same time he just want whats best for me; whatever will make me happy (or not sad). These are all his words, not mine. So just incase anyone thought differently b/c after I read through some of my posts (as if there's so many), I realized that it may see like I'm in love w/ a guy that has no interest in being w/ me. Again, this is not the case. I would go into more detail, but I rather not at the moment, as I am at work. Lets call this blogging time... me taking a cigarette break. I mean people who smoke get a break to smoke, so I should get a break to release my stress too. Although, presently I'm not at all stressed.
So its the weekend and I don't have any real plans. Well I know a few people that would like to hang out with me, but I don't know. We'll see. I actually have work-work to do since I kind of slacked off a bit today. Technically though, its not my fault. My computer has been acting up a lot today and shit has just been broken most of the time I try to test anything so that sucked!
Next topic.... so my bf Dana and some of her friends have decided to go on a weight loss diet with exercising, etc., together. I'm joining them as well. I need to lose 30 pounds and shape up. I'm currently NOT bikini material... but I'm not completely sloppy and disgusting though (even though in my head I think I am). Don't worry, I'm not bulemic or anorexic thinking that I'm fat or anything. I know I can still pass as looking in shape... (that is if you don't see my stomach). Its not too bad compared to others in the world, but to me its UNEXCEPTABLE!! So I hope to really get my shit together b/c whenever next I go on vacation for real, I wanna be confident that I look damn good and can wear whatever I want w/o any problems.
Anyway, its now 6:20pm and I want to leave, but my VP just assigned me a small project to work on. I love it. Friday @ 6:20PM, he sends this my way. I would be a little more upset, but the guilt of not really working that hard today is preventing that from happening. Besides, he's so great... I'd do just about anything (work-related) that he wants b/c lets face it, as long as he's happy, I'm happy. More importantly, my annual review is nearing (its in 3 months), so it doesn't hurt to go the extra mile for him. Not that he's the one conducting my review, but he always tells my boss how great/amazing/(and my personal favorite) glorious he thinks I am & in reference to the work that I do here. So really, it doesn't hurt to keep him happy. But honestly, he's a really cool & down to earth person who is constantly stressed out, so I'm always happy to help him out. Plus I love sarcastic people, which he definitely is. He's also the type of person that you can never really tell just by looking at him that he's extremely pissed off b/c he doesn't really show emotions. Me on the other hand, you can read it all over my face when I'm sad or upset or anything. And if not my face, you can see it in my eyes.
There was an interesting study done on being able to read one's emotions through their eyes even if they displayed no facial expressions. You could still tell. Very interesting Psychology article. Actually I think it was in my Psych book.
Anyway... times up. Its 6:48pm and my VP told me 15mins ago that I could leave, but I just wanted to finish this. I'm about to go have a brief conversation with Dr. K (a co-worker for those who didn't read my previous blog), hop on the train with him (if he's still around actually), and head home.
I can't believe I'm actually blogging. Lol!! This is so hilarious. I never took myself to be a blogger, but it really is good to just get everything all out, even if no one else reads it. But really, I'm just proud of myself for be consistant (thus far) with it. That's pretty cool. I hope I don't get addicted though. Isn't this kind of like talking to yourself, but just on the internet? If I voiced all this aloud as I walked the streets, wouldn't people think I'm crazy? Is this just a way for crazy people to feel sane about talking to themselves? LOL!!
Ok... 6:55pm. Work day's over and I think Dr. K is out already so now I'm out too.
Til next time...
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